Me.
This could get carried away, there’s so much to tell! I am a child of the 70’s and 80’s. Love those nostalgic playlists! I have a curious mind and love life long learning. I’ve studied visual arts at Newcastle university majoring in fibre art/textiles, other studies include; Dip. Ed, costume for theatre, French, creative writing, Library Information and cultural services, currently - bookbinding, tarot, Auslan, meditation. Spent a few years in Melbourne, eating baked cheese cake from Acland street St. Kinda, among other delights! I always wanted to travel and ended up living overseas for 12 years. I have 17 year old twins, Artemis and Armand, who recently moved to my mum’s on the Central Coast. I teach part time in special education and am a casual at the local library. I have 2 cats, a dog and 3 chooks. I love mind maps, camping, walking, my groovy bicycle, road trips, books and reading, dancing, cooking when the urge takes me, poetry, nature, lists, sewing, dress ups, writing, making books and living creatively. (Ha ha, am sounding like a personal column😆) In another life time I ran creative writing workshops in French (mind blowing!). A favourite prompt is; Self portrait in 3rd person. (Here’s mine, can’t wait to read yours) She is full of hopes and dreams of places near and far. Rarely rapid, she likes to take her time, slow, steady and surely. She is easily distracted and overwhelmed by life...how will there ever be time to fit everything in? She tries hard to make the most of time, though she often feels like she is whiling it away. Sometimes she loses track of herself. Sometimes she dances around the house. She is a night owl, a book worm, a list maker and mind mapper, a stinky cheeese and bottomless teapot lover, a moon starer, a dandelion wish maker, a wild flower, a child of the universe. She is full of words and poetry, exposed seams, magic and stardust. She. Is.
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Inspiration...not enough?
How about too much? Why or how is that a problem you ask? Well, as incredibly grateful as I am about feeling awe-struck on a regular basis, my difficulty lies in using this gift constructively. You are correct. Inspiration isn’t really the problem; cleverly managing my self discipline is! I get easily caught up in all of the amazing-ness around me. Call it sensory overload, so many ideas and possibilities - who hasn’t peeked at Pinterest and got lost for hours scrolling through all that wonder? Or given in to the temptation of ALL those books to read among other distractions? Maybe I am over ambitious, lazy, slack, too hard (or easy) on myself or a combination of all of the above, organisational fine points are tricky. For me. Reining it all in and focusing on one or two projects at a time is challenging. Using time efficiently is super challenging. My life load is fairly average - juggling teaching, library shifts, commuting, study, domestic bliss (me and the fur balls) and parenting from a distance (which basically means they call me when they need something). Nothing overly demanding. It’s not that I don’t manage, I do. On the surface, I’m doing ok. I make and create often. I just don’t feel as on top of it as I could or should be. Yep, I could do more. Should I? (Don’t you love that word - should, uh-huh). Perhaps that is the million dollar question...who says I should? Umm...I do? On whose authority? Ahh...mine? Give your/myself a break! Maybe it isn’t about any of these things? After all, a problem is only a problem if we let it be one. Owning and accepting my pace, my processes, quietening down my mental 🤪mind, letting it all simply BE and enjoying where ever it takes me. Slow and steady, full of gratefulness. (I feel better already). Some of you may know that I am fond of a good mind map. Whenever I need to develop ideas or pull things together, this is what I do and it works! Of course there is nothing divinatory about them...I could not have known in the early days of January what 2020 had in store for us.
Even so, apart from travel and road trips, this is all happening and I have even more time to indulge! ChchchChanges...a great tune anytime, definitely fits the bill for November! Transition, adapting to new situations, new adventures, new life cycles. It has been emotionally charged and exciting! As A & A begin to slowly discover the world on their own terms, I’ve been reshuffling too. Creativity, always and tapping into my intuitive gifts through meditation and tarot. Totally fascinating stuff. One might say I’m reworking my binding...many life connections, metaphors and analogies available through bookbinding! I can feel the end of year reflective thought process beginning. It’s a natural for me...take it in, ponder, accept, breathe, shake it off and be grateful. November ended on an unexpectedly challenging note. Just when I was feeling good about recent big changes, I received a very large dose of un-constructive criticism...the type that cuts to the core of your being, sadly, from someone close. Despite the rawness of it all, (it will take me awhile to work through this), it has left me feeling peculiarly liberated and somehow empowered. So I will be focusing on redirecting the negative energy into positive life force. Go me! 🌞Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. -Melodie Beattie Taking Stock Making: new books for wedding gifts, Christmas markets & because I love it! Cooking: chocolate love pots Sipping: sangria Reading: Illumination by Karen Brooks (Curse of the Bond Riders trilogy) Looking: after a little bird Listening: Blue day by Mi Sex Wishing: on a star Enjoying: learning tarot Liking: my new 2020 stay magical diary Loving: the handmade book club by vintage page designs Buying: red dolly swimwear Watching: sappy Christmas movies Hoping: it is a slow Sunday Needing: Understanding & acceptance Wearing: loose cotton dresses Following: where the path takes me Noticing: we don’t need much to feel content Sorting: my stuff Getting: my new old skool bicycle Saving: for future projects & adventures Bookmarking: intuitive by Craigh Wilson Coveting: a book press Opening: maker’s Christmas market @ Embassy Arts Giggling: at myself Feeling: grateful Hearing: birds chirping Obsessing: I read books, I listen to books, I make books, I work in a library... The post Taking Stock in November appeared first on meet me at mikes. For almost 17 years, my days have revolved, in glory and frustration, around being a mum. It’s an incredible role and the most amazing adventure I’ll ever know. Now, I am parenting from a distance as A & A decided to finish their last year of school living with their Nan. It is not so much quiet as still. The focus has drastically shifted and as I adjust to this new energy, I’m also contemplating how to reorganise my time and space. So I've found myself empty nesting slightly earlier than expected...it is weird and somewhat wonderful. I have a devoted dog, a couple of cats and a few chooks for company, plenty of books, creative spaces, lovely friends and neighbours.
Just in case I was missing it, I get a regular dose of teenage angst three days a week at work, (I'm a high school teacher!), then I shake it off with some good old bibliotherapy, as I finish my working week off with a couple of shifts at the local library. Despite any hesitation I may have felt, we made exactly the right decision. This is what we all needed. There is still some adapting and bump control to manage but change equals growth and new challenges, something to be excited about!
Not experiencing or sharing my finest moments lately. So many emotional outbursts from uncontrollable sobbing to desperate verbal showers...usually at moments when I’d rather be cool calm collected competent professional.
Feeling ANGRY is so foreign. There is nothing comfortable about it. I like my creative positive me better. Time to revive myself and get my sparkle back. Serious nurturing required, no quick fixes, simple effort action motivation mindfulness and posterior shove. Time to enjoy spring flowers and make more lists! April
I have been dozing off a lot lately, usually right in the middle of reading or writing, which leaves me attempting to fill in the gaps. My birthday was quietly lovely, with pre-day roaming in Tamworth, a little op shopping, a cafe brunch and a good dose of forest bathing. On the day itself, Artemis organised some surprise visits and I chatted with Armand about accepted birthday celebration etiquette, (especially your mum’s). Not sure what the teenage boy standard is but I had to let him know that weird, grumpy, dismissive and slack is NOT acceptable! (He eventually caught up and found me a stunning gift while in Vietnam), wonder how he’ll go on Mother’s Day! And yes, it does make me feel like a boring, nag of a mum, though the hope is that he will remember to celebrate special people and moments thoughtfully in the future. #parentingbliss Though I have been writing, I haven’t been blogging as such. I also unfortunately, lost all my iPad notes which simply decided to disappear from one day to the next for no apparent reason. No luck in retrieving them and it’s probably best that I don’t remember exactly what I had. Very annoying. Chances are the gaps won’t be filled till later with Vietnam almost upon us! I’ve been feeling so angry this week.
The kind of anger I rarely feel. The kind of anger that makes me feel like screaming and swearing. If you know me, you probably understand why this is weird for me. I am not an angry person. I get flustered, sometimes annoyed and I rarely swear. It was the usual scenario of one thing then other things piling on when you are emotionally raw and vulnerable, therefore less able to cope well. It’s hard to keep your cool and remain positive when you feel so crabby. Then I get annoyed with myself for letting unimportant stuff get to me, but hey, I’m human and I deserve to be treated as such... In a situation, a world where respect is a given. REALLY! Oh no, I’m not going down the global track. Way too depressing, besides, in my little world I am surrounded by respect and support. I just lose sight occasionally and momentarily struggle to find meaning to grasp on to. Maybe we can ponder on the possible influences of super full moons, windy days, Crazy hot days, change of seasons or the alignment of the planets, (is Mars lightning fires in my celestial houses...now that would explain all those hot flushes!). In the midst of it all, I saved myself by making; a little red dress, carrot cake, Crepes with maple syrup and strawberries, Listening to The Smiths and The Church smashed avocado on toast with poached eggs, mushrooms, asparagus and dukkah A handful of hand bound books, Pear, cinnamon and raspberry clafoutis Reading, writing, mind mapping and watching episodes of a sappy series, Though not all on the same day! Method & madness 14/02/19 Anytime is a good time for a little self reflection and care. I have often been told that I am easy going, laid back, calm - some have even told me I am too calm! On the whole I feel pretty relaxed, so my recent realisation/awakening that I am not as cruise-y as I feel was kind of a surprise. How we feel we are isn’t necessarily the same energy that others feel from us. Nothing new there really. How often do any of us wonder about how others perceive us or wish we could see ourselves from the outside? How does a generally unstressed person stress? Well, I believe in the same way I do many things, it comes in spurts. > Beginning of school year/term is usually overwhelming until I figure out what I’m doing, then it’s just a question of improvisation and surviving the daily flow of surprises. > time management/organisational tasks - the time it takes to find strategies that work, juggling the daily flow of jobs, parenting, STUFF. Despite being a list lover, it’s not often that everything gets done. I am also a slow and steady paced person. I can move quickly when I have to but I like to take my time, whether it’s eating, walking, making, being. I like taking time to be in and enjoy what I’m doing, to experience life as best I can especially the little stuff. > household chores can be a drag, (I never feel cruise-y when I have to ask the same things over and over...#life with teenagers!) though we seem to have found a system that works for the moment, fingers crossed! I imagine having super organised work and living spaces but I haven’t got there yet so it’s quite handy not being a perfectionist! > I’ve figured over time that I like to be in control. Not in the sense that I want to take over things. I like to be in control of my faculties, of my person, to have the ability to act and cope when needed for myself and for others, as a parent, as an educator, as a community member, as a human. Feeling helpless in a situation can be overwhelming, scary, disappointing. So I am careful not to take on too much responsibility. Enough that I feel confident in performing well is good. I don’t want to disappoint others or myself and I can always build on this. > Decision making can be tricky too and I have definitely stressed over it, wondering and worrying over whether I am making the right choices. Fortunately on a day to day basis it’s not much of an issue, but bigger things can take up my headspace for awhile. Mmmm, so when I break it down like this, I hardly seem relaxed. (Is this what Sharon and Armand (“No mum, you’re not that cruise-y”) were referring to?) This is one of the many reasons why friends and family are important, they help us keep perspective. I have always enjoyed pondering over life, the universe and everything so taking time out to reflect and self evaluate is one of my valued rituals. I even it all out spending my weekends indulging in lazy mornings, baking for neighbours, making crepes, reading, watching a movie and creative stuff like sewing, letter writing, bookbinding, paper making to name a few. So I am a little bit of lots of things depending on which way the scales lean. I liken myself to being a ‘muddle headed wombat’, though once I have a plan, direction or focus, I’m okay. I work hard on motivation, it doesn’t come naturally. I have to drag myself away from comfy distractions, it’s so easy to get off task. I am probably not unlike anyone reading this; not quite as confident as I could be, comparing myself against others and social expectations. It’s the standard recipe for never feeling satisfied, content or happy even though we know it’s unrealistic. Lucky for me I prefer to ponder on the positive, there is always plenty of it. |
AuthorFor me, it seems there is not much difference between wondering and wandering. It has always helped me find inspiration. Creative dabbling is good for the soul, I couldn't imagine life without it and often surprise myself by what I come up with. Archives
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